Change

When I see your face I'm reminded of the dreams we had.
When our eyes meet I'm drawn into their deepest depths.
When I see you walk I remember your hands on my hips.
When I see you speak I remember the smooth timbre of your voice.

The memories of us, holding hands, walking down the trails, in love
haunt me, threaten my sanity, push me toward you.
Then I remember the nightmares, the fear you inflicted.
The pain I felt from the words you spoke
Or the feel of your hand against my face.

You have so much healing to do in yourself,
And I'm working on my own mind.
It's not my job to fix you now.
Self change has to be your priority.

And all I can do is offer you hope.

Purgatory

Some days I feel like life is neither fair nor simple. 
Why does it have to hurt so much? 
Why do I have to feel at all?
Can't I just take some Novocaine for heart break?

With this hole in my chest, I feel like everyone stares.
Casting me sad looks of pity.
Whispers echoing around me like ghosts.
"Look that's the poor thing that lost her soul."

Simplicity has always been my motto for life.
But right now I feel I'm too complex to stand alone.
The world I once knew seems paler.
The sky doesn't seem as blue.

Things I once loved, I now avoid for the memories.
Trying to make new dreams I trip over the old ones.
I wonder around like I'm half alive.
Is this what purgatory feels like?