What a week

I love how people love to be right about being apathetic and believing whatever they have been told to believe by whomever.

We in these here united states will do and say anything to make out tasks less work and to make us oblivious to the worldly lies.

I had just found a great raw food lasagna recipe I was going to try for the fam. B is sick today and I was saying it was maybe too much work. I was greeted with the answer of 'i thought raw food people just ate a tomato raw and only did that because they were lazy.' insued into an arguement about microwaves and ended in what does the FDA have to say about it? My answer 'nothing and it doesn't suprise me because they lie and withhold lots'. Response = that's what you believe.

Life. So silly.

I'll talk more about the rest of my week later.

C
Xx

Hell yeah!

This man might have his issues, but fuck he's right. Get the hell off the sofa and start acting and reacting!

What disempowering story are you telling about yourself?

This was one of the questions in the past weeks at cafe gratitude.  

The real question is how many and why.  

My disempowering lies are based on things that other people have told me about myself.  People who have either claimed to care for me or helped create my being into existence.  

Disempowering lie un:  That I am stupid.  I find the older I get, the more I start to believe this.  When I was a kid and my dad used to tell me how stupid I was, I would rebuke it in my head, thinking that I knew all.  Now when I make mistakes my first thing I think some days is "god, you are so stupid, Clare..."  It's usually in his voice.  It's not even stupidity that I feel, it's more failures.  Little things.  Big things.  Things out of my control.  I feel my dads watching gaze telling me 'I told you so.'  It's a wretched feeling.  It stops today.  

Empowering fact:  I will accomplish my goals.  I have done plenty so far.  I have the audacity to succeed for myself and my family.  I'm more than what I appear.  I will change the world for the better. 

Disempowering lie deux:  That other people are better than me.  A feeling we all get.  A lie we are made to believe by the media and many around us on a daily basis.  But when you have someone tell it straight to you, give you examples and compare you directly to someone else.  It's beyond a slap in the face, it's a stab in the chest.  And it's hard to push past.  The first step for me is forgiveness.  So, you know who you are, I forgive you for comparing me, putting me down, making me believe I was less than anyone else and less than worthy of your love and desire.  It doesn't make it right, but I can now move on. 

Empowering fact:  I am me.  I have to be no one else.  I don't have to change because someone else expects it of me.  I have my own talents and specialties.  I am worthy of all the love and desire that I put out into the universe back to me.  I can forgive, move on and believe in myself once more.  And just because someone believes I am not good at something doesn't mean someone else doesn't think the opposite.  There is someone out there for me that loves me for me. 

Disempowering lie trois:  I wear too much make up.  I try to cover myself up.  I am not beautiful.  And again compared to other women, I am not good enough.  This is one of the most evil, vile and disempowering things too many women are made to believe on a daily basis.  Sadly some of us have had to hear it from our own lovers mouths.  I found out that a lover of mine once said he was 'disappointed' in me because I wore more make up at a later point in our relationship then I did when I met him.  That cut me so deeply I still think about it every day when I'm putting on my make up and it was years ago.  In the same vein I had another point out every time I would have a pimple or a spot.  It's so hard to hear someone tell you they believe the worst things you believe about yourself.  It creates a need to be told good things, but then it appears to be ego stroking.  But I can honestly say it has tainted every relationship I've even thought about being in since.  

Empowering truth:  I am good enough for me.  I am good enough for the universal love.  Someone loves me for who I am and not who they think they can change me to be.  Out there someone has thought good things about me.  I have been told the truth when people give me compliments.  I have the ability to believe them.  I can choose to trust.  I can choose to trust myself to make good judgements.  I can choose to be loved.  And desired.  And wanted.  I am loved and desired and wanted.  I don't need verbal affirmations from anyone else to make me believe these truths about myself.  I don't need, but choose to use make up, and outside factor, to enhance the way I look and as a statement to fashion.  I am beautiful.  I am sexy.  I will find someone that finds me desirable in all areas of me.  

I'm so stupid exhausted.  I have had the flu and my body is wrecked.  I have a treatment on Monday and I want to just cry for all of the hours I've spent lying awake tonight when I should be resting this old temple of mine.  Now that I've blogged this, I should sleep better.  

Thanks for listening oh endless ether that is the interweb.  

Hold onto your own truths and rid yourself of the disempowering lies.  

Namaste.

Clare

xx

well the flu sucks

I'm just saying.

I feel like hell.

Or death.

I'd say warmed over but I can't stop shivering.

Sleep well kids.

Clare
xx

Well it's been a while...

But I'm determined not to let this blog die.

So, here's something I just wrote:

It's easy to say something, though sometimes it's much harder to accomplish. There is a curtain amount of thought, ingenuity, patience and perserverance that must go into everything we do. There are times when it would be better for our immediate self to just give up. But so often this apathy effects our later self in ways we can't see right away. Not until sometimes these effects are nearing irreversibility. They can't be taken care of as easily as they were created. And not without killing a part of who we were. Often times these cancers are the product of lies we believe about ourselves and soon we start telling these lies about ourselves. Dishonesty is at the heart of many of our cancers. Pain. Anger. War. Apathy. Illness and medical cancer. We can only take away so many of these lessions before we are no longer what we once were.

Strip yourself down to the bone. Cleanse out your mind, temple and spirit. Remove the cancer before it metastizises. Remove it and grow anew and whole. Become love, gratitude and at harmony with the universe around you.

Namaste.
Clare
Xx